Your Marriage May Be Over: How to Prepare for Meeting with a Divorce Attorney

We all know someone – a neighbor, 朋友, 相对, 或者同事——他们觉得自己的婚姻可能会走向灾难……毫无疑问，一些读这篇文章的人自己也有这种情况. 你的婚姻可能走向离婚的感觉可能是压倒性的, 可怕的, and downright depressing, 但做好准备并控制局面可以帮助缓解这些感觉. 这篇文章旨在帮助那些面对分居和离婚的可怕前景的人, 最终, their attorney) in the best position to achieve a fair and equitable outcome.

不要惊慌

This advice may seem “easier said than done,” but as someone who has been trying divorce and custody cases for decades, 我可以向你保证，这个制度不是为了伏击或让毫无戒心的配偶陷入突然的经济崩溃而设立的. 这个过程, if you manage it well and follow certain steps, is designed to allow for an exchange of information and, 最终, a fair distribution of assets between spouses. 知道什么信息可以找到和访问将帮助你准备会见律师，并最大限度地减轻现有的离婚法.

直面这个问题

当我遇到一个潜在客户忽略了他或她已经收到离婚投诉的事实，并且已经错过了答复的最后期限时，我总是感到惊讶. 很多次, these clients have retained another attorney who, 不管出于什么原因, has failed to file a responsive pleading, failed to assist the client with discovery, and failed to protect the client’s interests. 如果你进入分居和离婚程序，你能做的最重要的事情就是确保你知道你的最后期限，并协助你的律师准备你的回应. If your attorney is not responsive, 对你没有帮助, or seems unconcerned with the deadlines, 找个新律师. 虽然我们一直试图帮助那些被延误或之前有无效律师的客户, 赶上进度比赶上截止日期要困难得多. While we realize this process is emotionally challenging, 如果你错过了充分陈述自己观点的机会，事情就会变得极其困难, which can happen if you ignore deadlines that require your response.  When you are served with process, read it carefully and know your deadlines. While your lawyer should also be aware of these dates, 最终你有责任去满足他们，因为这是你的生活和你的未来.

KNOW WHERE YOUR ACCOUNTS ARE AND HOW MUCH YOU HAVE

在婚姻中, 许多夫妻发展成一个人控制支付账单和管理财务的角色. That division of labor is great when everyone is getting along, but as marriages begin to fail, 缺乏对财务状况的了解可能是一个大问题，一旦情况变得可怕，你会感到无助. Even if your marriage is blissful, you should have some idea of the following, to avoid disaster in the event of a major life change:

1. 你的房子是怎么命名的? 它是由你和你的配偶共同拥有的，由你们中的一个人拥有，信托，还是其他人?
2. What bank holds your mortgage? 你付了钱了吗? 你有退伍军人管理局贷款吗? How much do you owe, and how much of that is principal versus interest? Did one partner use a premarital or family home to contribute equity? 如果有，是多少? 拿一份你的抵押贷款报表和分期偿还时间表的副本总是一个好主意，这样你就知道你在家里有多少资产.
3. Where are your bank accounts? 重要的是要知道金融机构和账户号码，并能够访问余额信息，这样你就可以防止任何突然转移到可能被配偶隐藏的账户，以寻求不公平的优势. Getting copies of 银行对账单 before things get adversarial is helpful.
4. Do you have a 401(k) or other retirement accounts? Does your spouse have a 401(k) or other retirement accounts? Retirement accounts are often the largest assets aside from a marital residence, 令人惊讶的是，很多人都不知道他们是否对自己或配偶的账户感兴趣. 最好在事情不可挽回地破坏之前获得显示这些余额的报表，以便您可以跟踪任何突然的变化, depletion of these assets, 或者余额转账.

GET COPIES OF IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS BEFORE THEY ARE HIDDEN OR DESTROYED

All of the questions asked above can be answered easily with the right documents. Having copies of tax returns, W2s, 1099s, K1s, 抵押声明, retirement account statements, 信用卡对账单, and 银行对账单 for checking, 储蓄, 货币市场, 股票账户, 等. 这是一个很好的方法来保护你自己，并准备你的律师来协助你吗. 当夫妻之间关系融洽时，实时收集这些文件要比在某人决定结束婚姻后重新发明轮子容易得多. 无论你是否认为你们的婚姻存在问题，都要随时了解情况. 如果你的配偶无行为能力或无法帮助你，这些文件也会派上用场. 无论哪种方式, 如果你对自己的资产及其存放地点了如指掌，那么在没有配偶的情况下掌控未来的财务状况就不会那么可怕了.

BRING DOCUMENTS TO YOUR MEETING WITH A LAWYER

如果你把上面列出的文件带到你的会议上，律师帮助你并给你现实的建议和有用的信息要容易得多。.  A good attorney may be able to make an educated guess using your perceptions, but it is far easier to advise a person who brings tax returns, 银行对账单, and other related documents to a meeting. We cannot guarantee any specific outcome in court, 但我们当然可以告诉你可能的结果是什么，以及未来的现实预期是什么. 对于不了解情况的客户来说，这个过程更加困难，因为他们不知道婚姻财产中有哪些资产. The more information we have, 我们的“有根据的猜测”越准确，你对这个过程的期望就越高.

听律师的话

你的父母, 兄弟姐妹, 邻居, 同事, 朋友可能是很棒的人，如果你的婚姻出现混乱，他们可能是你的一个很好的支持系统. As well-meaning as your 朋友s are, please don’t take legal advice from them. 最好的办法是找到最合格的律师，并听取他的意见.  每个人都有这样的故事:一个熟人离婚了，要么得到了一笔很大的交易，要么得到了一笔他们认为不公平的交易, 现实情况是，这个人对结果的看法可能更多地与他或她的总体态度和心理健康有关，而不是与法律有关. Your situation is unique, and you deserve a knowledgeable and well-informed opinion from a professional.

Bretta刘易斯 是一个澳门亚洲博彩平台排名 & 亚洲博彩平台排名 shareholder focusing her practice on domestic litigation, including mediation and litigation of contested and uncontested divorce matters, negotiation and preparation of premarital agreements, 解决涉及复杂夫妻财产的公平分配案件，包括公司利益和企业估值.